What Is the Eiffel Tower Position? A Guide to This Group Position

If you've heard the term "Eiffel Tower" in a sexual context and weren't sure what it meant, you're not alone. It's one of those positions that gets referenced in jokes and pop culture more than it gets explained. Here's what it actually is.

What Is the Eiffel Tower Position?

The Eiffel Tower is a three-person sexual position. Here's the configuration:

• One person is in the middle, typically on hands and knees
• One person is behind them, engaged in penetrative sex
• One person is in front of them, receiving oral sex
• The two penetrating partners high-five or hold hands above the middle person

The name comes from the shape formed - the two standing/kneeling partners create a tower-like arch when they connect hands above the person in the middle, resembling (roughly) the Eiffel Tower structure.

Why the High-Five?

The hand connection above the middle person is what distinguishes an Eiffel Tower from simply having sex with two people simultaneously. It's partly practical (for balance), partly symbolic (acknowledging the shared experience), and partly humorous (the position has always had a playful element).

Some people hold the high-five throughout; others touch hands briefly. There's no rule - it's more about the gesture than maintaining it constantly.

Who Is This Position For?

The Eiffel Tower requires three willing participants, which immediately means it's for people interested in group sex. More specifically, it typically involves:

• A configuration of two men and one woman, or two people with penises and one person receiving (though variations exist)
• People comfortable with a degree of interaction between the two penetrating partners (at minimum, the high-five)
• Trust among all three participants

It's often associated with MMF threesomes but can be adapted to other configurations with toys or strap-ons.

Communication Before You Start

Group sex requires more communication than partnered sex. Before attempting an Eiffel Tower:

Establish Boundaries

• What contact, if any, will occur between the two non-middle partners?
• What acts are everyone comfortable with?
• Are there things anyone specifically doesn't want?

Discuss Protection

• What barriers will be used?
• Condom changes between partners or acts?
• Everyone's testing status?

Agree on Signals

• How does anyone communicate needing to stop or pause?
• Check-ins during the activity?

Making It Work Physically

Height Coordination

For the position to work, heights need to align. The person in the middle needs to be at a height where both oral and penetrative access work for the other participants. This might require:

• The middle person adjusting their height (higher or lower on knees)
• Using furniture or pillows to adjust heights
• The standing/kneeling partners adjusting their position

The Middle Person's Experience

Being in the middle requires:

• Balancing while receiving stimulation from two directions
• Performing oral sex while being penetrated (requires focus)
• Managing breathing with activity in front of the face
• Communicating needs despite limited ability to speak

Rhythm and Coordination

With two people moving against one person, some coordination helps. This might develop naturally or might require communication ("slower," "match my rhythm," etc.).

Potential Challenges

Balance

The middle person is receiving force from two directions, which can make staying stable challenging. Hands on the bed, grabbing thighs, or other bracing helps.

Competing Sensations

Receiving intense stimulation from two sources simultaneously can be overwhelming. It's okay to pause one activity to focus on the other.

Ego Management

In MMF configurations specifically, comparing partners can become an issue. Communication and reassurance help manage this.

Physical Limitations

Jaw fatigue, knee discomfort, and general tiredness are all real. The position isn't typically sustained for extended periods - it's often part of a varied encounter rather than the whole thing.

Variations

Different Oral Position

Instead of the person in front standing, they can lie back with the middle person between their legs. This changes the dynamic and can be easier to maintain.

Side-by-Side

Rather than front-and-back, both additional partners can be on the same side, allowing the middle person to alternate between them rather than simultaneous stimulation.

Toy Integration

Vibrators, dildos, or other toys can substitute for one participant, allowing exploration of the sensation without requiring three people.

Emotional Considerations

Group sex brings up emotions that partnered sex might not:

Jealousy: Watching your partner with someone else can trigger unexpected feelings. Discuss this possibility beforehand.

Feeling Left Out: If one person becomes the focus, others might feel peripheral. Check in with everyone.

Comparison: Comparing yourself to another person present is natural but can be harmful. Address insecurities in advance.

Aftercare: Group encounters often need more emotional processing afterward. Make time to connect with your partner(s) after.

Is This Position for You?

The Eiffel Tower makes sense if:

• You're genuinely interested in group sex (not just doing it because a partner wants to)
• All three participants are enthusiastic and have discussed boundaries
• You're comfortable with the specific configuration required
• Trust exists among all participants

It's not ideal if:

• Any participant has reservations or feels pressured
• Communication hasn't been thorough
• You're hoping it will fix relationship problems (it won't)
• You're trying it primarily because of external expectations

What This Comes Down To

The Eiffel Tower is a specific three-person position that requires coordination, communication, and enthusiastic participation from everyone involved. It's neither inherently amazing nor problematic - like any sexual activity, its quality depends entirely on the people involved and how well they communicate.

If you're curious, discuss it openly with potential partners. If you try it and it's not what you expected, that's okay too. Sexual exploration is about discovering what works for you, not checking boxes on a list of positions.